A Mum’s Lived Experience: From Rock Bottom to Rising
Motherhood in a Pandemic
Becoming a mum is a seismic shift in identity. But becoming a mum of twins during a global pandemic felt like being thrown into deep water without knowing how to swim. My twin daughters were my whole world, but during lockdown, that world felt incredibly small and painfully silent.
Gone were the playgroups and baby classes I had imagined. Instead, I was at home, juggling nappies and nap times, silently falling apart behind closed doors. While the world shut down outside, inside I was crumbling. Every cry felt louder. Every moment heavier. I needed support, but where could I turn?
Finding Calm in the Chaos
Before I was diagnosed with postnatal depression and anxiety, one thing brought me a quiet sense of peace: embroidery. It was something I had done as a child with my nana, sitting side by side with needle and thread, finding calm in the rhythm. In those dark early days of motherhood, I returned to it instinctively, grounding myself in the familiar motion of stitching.
A Brave First Step Toward Help
Eventually, I hit rock bottom. I remember tears pouring down my face as I reached out to my GP. That small, brave moment of asking for help sparked a change. It led me to a place I now hold close to my heart: the Maternal Advocacy and Support (Mas) group at my local women’s centre.
The Mas Project: A Lifeline
Mas wasn’t just a project. It was a lifeline.
I started as a participant, gently re-entering the world surrounded by others who truly understood. The group gave me space to share, to listen, and to slowly rediscover my voice. Over time, I transitioned from being supported to offering support, and today I have the immense privilege of walking alongside other women as a group worker within Mas.
Stitching My Story
I began embroidering again, creating small pieces for my daughters’ bedroom. It became a soothing practice, a way to express myself without needing to find the right words. One day, I came across a twin motherhood-themed design that struck a deep chord. I stitched it onto a spare canvas I had lying around, not knowing then how symbolic it would become.
A Metaphor in Thread
What moved me most about that piece was what you couldn't see unless you turned it over. On the front, it looked picture-perfect: neat, colourful, complete. But the back told a different story — messy, tangled, chaotic. It was the perfect metaphor for what I had been going through. On the outside, I looked like I was coping: calm, capable, together. But on the inside, I was fraying.
From Personal to Public: Sharing My Work
When I was asked if my embroidered canvas could be used as the cover image for our Mas lived experience booklet, I felt deeply honoured. To have my little piece on the front, with my story shared inside, felt incredibly meaningful. What began as a private outlet for my emotions had become a shared symbol of strength and solidarity.
Full Circle: From Participant to Leader
I am extremely proud to be part of this group, having come full circle with the project as a participant and now a group leader. I am proud not only to have my story featured in the book but to have also designed the front cover. So yes, I am so proud that this is our Mas logo for our book, and also for our new pop-up banner and flyer.
Conclusion: Finding Myself Again
Motherhood changed me, but Mas helped me find myself again. In sharing my story, I hope others feel less alone and more seen.
📖 Read the Mas Lived Experience Book
If my story resonates with you, I invite you to explore the Mas Lived Experience Book — a powerful collection of stories from mums who have walked similar paths. The book is a testament to resilience, honesty, and the strength of community. Each page offers insight into the real, raw experiences of motherhood, perinatal mental health, and recovery.
Download and discover the threads that bind us together through shared experience, empathy, and hope.
